5 Signs He's Just Not That Into You

I'm sitting in the usual spot on the couch. Middle cushion with legs crossed. It's late. I'm alone. There's a white, fuzzy blanket over my lap, a hot rice pack wrapped around my neck, and a diffuser blowing Christmas Spirit directly at my face. It's 3 degrees outside, and nothing beats the warm scents of oranges and cinnamon bark dispursing over your coldest realizations.

(Raises her glass)

I'm wearing a pair of old joggers, a tight long sleeve, and a new zip-up. "Think the tag might still be on here." She says while looking down at her boob.

I've been busy. Single mom life is always go-go-go. Working, momming, and working. I'm also writing a book about dating and men. (Smiles/winks quickly) And as I was writing, I thought I'd take a break and share some thoughts.

If you're a single, dating mama and you're reading this, please know I see you; and you're doing a fantastic job. Really wish they taught a class on this path of life in high school, but thank God they offered algebra. 

(Rolls eyes/Takes sip of wine)

Here are 5 signs he's just not that into you.

1. He makes you wait.

If you're constantly waiting for hours or days before he responds to your messages, even when you know he's read them, he's probably not into you. Especially if after a while you become skilled in responding to his texts without asking a question in return because you're not sure if and when he will respond back. I know it's cool to play it cool, but if he cared, he'd be more curious.

What I've learned: If he's not reaching out, it's because you're not on his mind.

2. He's hot and cold.

"You change your mind like a girl changes clothes." She sings in her best Katy Perry. 

If one minute he seems super interested and the next minute he's not - he's unsure about you. He either can't make up his mind, there's still other women he's swiping through on Bumble, or he likes the game. You know, where if you go silent or become short with your responses, he feels it, and then he wants to talk. But then when you call or reach out, he knows you're interested, so he backs away.

What I've learned: Don't choose (please take note I said choose) to be with someone who is unsure about you.

"You don't really wanna stay, no, but you don't really wanna go-o." 

3. You're always the one making plans.

Ahh. Being more of the Type A planner myself, this one's my favorite. If you're always the one initiating to see him, and if he's not taking any interest in trying to get something on the calendar with you, he's not into you. Always being the ONLY one to suggest that the two of you should do something together is a huge red flag. We'll discuss red flags another time, but if he can make plans months in advance to take a fun trip to another country with friends, but he can't plan a Friday night dinner date with you at the local eatery - then yeah - huge red flag. Not orange ladies, this is as red as the hair on Ariel's head. And Sebastian's ass. 

What I've learned: As much as you love to plan, don't. Save your creative, magical, planning powers for someone who can schedule you into their life, too.

4. He never drives to see you.

If he's not driving or offering to drive to come see you, he's not into you. If you only see him when it's convenient for him, because he's coming to town for other reasons, like seeing another group of friends or helping a buddy vacuum seal deer meat, he's not into you. You're just an option. Even though he says he wants to meet up and says he wants to see you, you are never the real reason why he gets in the car.

What I've learned: Characterize people by their actions and you will never be fooled by their words.

5. He breadcrumbs you.

Breadcrumbing is when a person doesn't really like you but still wants to have someone around for moments when they need company. They give you just enough, without fully committing. An excellent example of this is if he tends to watch your Instagram stories or like your posts on Facebook to make sure that you're still thinking about him, with minimal effort on his part, while never properly-getting in touch with you. 

Are these signs striking any chords? I don't know about you, but I'm tired of seeing women in bullshit "relationships". 

(Takes hard sip)

Google defines bullshit as: stupid or untrue talk or writing; nonsense. Synonyms: hogwash, wanker, baloney, fake.

Do you want to keep waiting around for him? Do you want hot & cold? Do you like inconsistency? Do you like that he's unsure? Do you like being the only one making the plans? Do you like being the only one putting effort in? Do you get full from eating all those breadcrumbs???

I sure don't. I'm hungry. And I'm ready for a (F-ill in the blank) burger. 

(Polishes off glass)

One more question to ask yourself.

(Calms down/takes deep breath)

"Is he reliable? Can you count on him to be there for you if you needed him?" She asks with a genuine, nurturing tone.

If your answer is no, then you need to move on.

Even if he has other qualities you may very much enjoy, and even if his eyes are filled with so much depth and wonder, the other signs are still screaming. As hard as it may be, choose to love them where they're at, but cheers to moving on.

If you liked the blog, drop a comment below. My name is Sam. I'm a charismatic blogger with hints of boldness and sass. And I'm your no-BS guide to finding the good.

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